A change will do ME good..

So, yesterday while sitting on the couch - uncomfortable and feeling like my body was everywhere I decided I needed to make a change. There is a lot going on in my life but I am so uncomfortable with EVERYTHING and I think that 99% of that is due to my size.

I am a BIG girl. Meaning, I am only 5'3" but I weigh as much as if not more then your average 6'1" man. I guess I am lucky in the fact that I am not one of those girls who only carries it in her stomach, or her thighs or her butt. I carry it EVERYWHERE. I've been told that I don't look as much as I weigh. Even by my best friend who is brutally honest and will tell me when I look fat. She guessed my weight and she was off by a good 40lbs or more.

I got on the scale yesterday and when I saw the number I almost cried. HOW did I let myself go like this? I'm not going to blame it on the kids. Yes, I have 4 boys but they did not do this to me. I barely gained any weight with any of them. I lost weight. So I will not tell myself that I am at this number because of having kids. I know women who've had 4 or 5 kids that are amazingly TINY. I totally let myself go. I guess what they say about when you get married you get comfortable can be true. I mean, I was a big girl on my wedding date but I am even bigger now.

So I decided to make a change! I am done being disgusted with myself. Tonight, I will be attending my first Weight Watchers meeting. They have two different meetings. The one I am going to join is for people who have 50 or more pounds to lose (or for people who have lost 50 pounds or more). I figure, if I am around others who have a lot to lose like myself I will work harder at this. I know in the other meeting there will be lots of women who are smaller who use the program to maintain and that will just make me feel bad, so for now I will be in the 50lbs plus group.

My goal is to lose 30lbs before the last weekend in September. I am turning 30 and I figured that was a great number to start with. I am having a birthday party weekend with my favorite girlfriends and I want to look as good as I possibly can. Overall, I want to lose about 75lbs. I am sure it is going to take me about a year to reach this goal but I am hoping. Overall, mostly I want to learn to eat healthy and be able to control myself. Maybe all of this will make me feel better about myself too.

Secondly, I am going to start the couch to 5K program. It is going to take me more then 9 weeks or even more then 12 weeks to get there. I feel like I am going to die when I do the 30 day shred so I know that with all the weight that is on me it is going to be hard for me to do the 5K training too, but I am determined. I'll blog more about this later a this blog has already become very long.

I'll be blogging about my adventure and my weight loss. I am not sure I want to write the number that I am down now, but I may. Also, tomorrow I'll have pictures of me now, and maybe once a week or every two weeks I'll update to see my progress. If I have to hold myself accountable to all my bloggy friends then I am more likely to stick with it. Wish me luck everyone! I am going to need it!