A McDonalds vent..

I'll start off by saying I don't give this to my son often. I know it's not the greatest food out there, but we do give it to the boys once in a while. Does this make me a bad mom, who knows.. but I am still angry over tonight's incident...

OK, so we had to go pick up the car from Mazda today and Carl had to bring Chad to football practice which left me with going to walmart to get a few things we need for the boys to have dinner when they get back (Since my pulled pork didn't work out because Walmart sucks but that is besides the point.....)

So after all was said and done, it was late. Like 730. I knew Will had to eat and get put down so I figured why not go get him a happy meal at McDonald's right? (Yes, that is the bad mom part... I got my 2 year old McDonalds). Well I ordered and got up to the window. Waited 10 freeking minutes (not exaggerating.. I am serious... 10 minutes) and then he hands me a bag with a chicken sandwich in it.... Told her politely that I just ordered a chicken nugget happy meal. She looked a me like I had 10 heads. I held my arm out trying to get her to take the bag. She asked again "Whats wrong" and I told her again, "I ordered a chicken nugget happy meal." She took the bag then I waited another 5 minutes and she comes back and tells me I have to pull around to the front.... REALLY??? I had to wait for the chicken nuggets. When I asked how long it would be she said 7 minutes....

Yep, I got angry. Asked for my money back. The girl said please pull around front and we'll bring the food out. No, I want my money back please.. she said "well bring your food in 7 minutes"..

HELLO STUPID LADY.... I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!!!! (no, I did not call her a stupid lady out loud)

I pulled around front and went in. The lady at that register goes "your food is right here". NO I WANT MY MONEY BACK NOW PLEASE... We went back and forth a few times on the matter. I did not care that my food was right there. It was the principal of the matter.

30 minutes after pulling into the drive through, I got my money back... Seriously..

Guess I shouldn't be feeding my kid McDonald's huh? On my way out, I said "We will go get chocolate milk and french fries at Wendys, Will" and he smiled big! The guy who was waiting for his food (Who looked aggravated by the way) said "Maybe I should go with you"... LoL

I am so mad though.... really... 30 plus minutes... that is nuts!

Vent over..

Day 5 ~ An item on my bucket list...

Day 5 of the 30 days of truth wants to talk about "Something I want to do in my life".

That question kind of makes me think of the Bucket List. I love that movie. So much that I've seen it a bazillion times. Every time it is on TV, I watch it. I really should just buy that movie. It really makes you think about the things you'd like to do before you kick the bucket so to speak.

I think I actually blogged about my bucket list at one time or another but I am to lazy to go find it now. Maybe later I will look and see.

I guess one of the most important things I want to do in my life is watch my children grow into well respected men. I want to watch them become Doctors, Lawyers, Marines, Construction men, whatever it is that makes them happy, so long as they are respected in what they do. I'd like to think I am raising them to be very polite boys and I hope that turns into something more as they get older. If they are well respected, then I will know I did something right as their Mom.

Now that that is out... something fun I'd like to do in my life is sit on the beaches of Turks and Caicos... Whose with me? :-)

Day 4 ~ To forgive and forget? maybe

Day 4 of the 30 day truth talks about someone we need to forgive.

This is an easy one. Kind of. My father left my mother when we were really young. I don't remember much of him. My mother never talked bad of him (which I am happy for, but I don't know if I could keep quiet if it were my husband that just up and left my family) but ever since I can remember, I was so angry at him. Angry because of not having a steady male role model in my life. It's hard to not have that. I think had he been around, that my life may have turned out differently. But who knows. One will never know and I am finally OK with that.

Now, you are probably wondering why I need to forgive him for leaving us? I mean, he was gone for 26ish years. Why would I even think about forgiving him? Honestly, I don't know. Maybe it is because I need to learn to let things go a little.

My fathers sister got in contact with me a little over a year ago. The joys of the internet and facebook right? I have not heard from any of my fathers siblings at all. His father used to write my mother letters when we were kids, but he wasn't around either for reasons I am not comfortable disclosing here. I never met him, but I read all the letters he would write for years and years. Anyways, back to my Fathers Sister. She sent me this message on FB. Telling me ALL about my life. Who my mom was, who my brother was. My Aunt and Uncles name, etc. Then at the end, she said " I apologize if this is the wrong Jessica Maiden Name, but I just don't want you to think I am crazy if I am correct in assuming this is you".

WOW. My world stopped for a minute. I did not have my husband to talk to. He was in Phoenix. My mother had passed away a few years earlier. So I called the next closest thing to her, My Aunt Vicki. I was dumb founded. Didn't know if I should write back or not. I decided, hey... what do I have to lose. If she is psycho, I can block her. We went back and forth for about 2 weeks. She was answering my questions about why they weren't around and why my father did not message me himself. Then...... a note from him...

Yep, it's been weird. I have not received all the answers I want out of him. Not even close. But we've been talking. Well, chatting on FB IM. That way when I get annoyed or frustrated, I can just log off and forget about him until I am ready to deal with it again. He wants us to be family. Wants for me to let my children meet him (Keep dreaming old man). He has apologized but I just have a hard time accepting it. I think I need to forgive him, but I don't think I'll ever forget what he did to us when we were little. I guess only time will tell.

At my breaking point...

What to do when you have a teenager who feels entitled?

Yep, I've written about this before. Back on day 1 or day 2 of school starting. The hard time I am getting with homework. UGH! It makes me want to pull every last hair out of my head.

He has an agenda book. He is supposed to write down assignments. When stuff is due, what he's supposed to be doing, etc etc etc. Do you think he uses it? No! Do you think he goes out of his way to tell me he has to do something, NO!

He plays Pop Warner football. The rule of Pop Warner is no pass, no play. That rule is totally fine by me. It would go the same if he were to play sports in school. He worked his butt off last year in order to make the C's or better I told him he needed in order to play. Now, this year it has gone all out the window. He's failing not one, but two classes. I've spoken with the two teachers and there really is not a whole lot he can do to get those grades up other then to pass in current assignments on time and done well. Yeah, right.... It's just like the saying goes.. you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

He's in 8th grade, so making his teachers sign his agenda book that he wrote everything down is out the window. I had a struggle with his 7th grade teachers last year for any help like this. In 8th grade, he's old enough to know better and the teacher should not have to babysit him to make sure he's writing stuff down. Besides that, they wont do it (I've asked). I can watch his grades online, but I don't know if the assignments are classwork or homework (not that it should matter) and the two classes he's failing are with two teachers who update their online gradebook once every 3 weeks or so. So again, its not like I can catch it and have him do it. I don't see it so I don't know. UGH!!

So now, we have to pull him out of football (which on a personal front for him, has been good. His respect towards us has been so much better), and lose all the money we've put into him and his team this year (Which was a LOT). I feel like I am at my breaking point with him and I am not sure what to do. I've tried everything I can think of. I have no problem pulling him from sports in order to better his grades and believe that is the right thing to do, but I think we are going to end up going back to the disrespectful, mouthy 13 year old again! UGH!!

Day 3~ Forgiving myself

Ok, so day three just jumps right into the heavy huh? It wants to know what is something that I need to forgive myself for.

This is truly a hard one for me. Not so much hard as in what I should post about but hard as in emotional. Something I hate myself for every single day. The reason being it really hits home, and makes me realize that time doesn't last forever and you never know when you are going to lose someone you love.

My mother passed away on July 16th, 2005. As an adult, I was never really close to her. In fact, if you go read this post here, you'll have some of that explained to you. She lived the kind of life style that I just did not want for my children. She liked to drink. A lot. We grew up watching this as kids and I just did not want my boys around that kind of thing.

I would only go see her for an hour or so at a time. As soon as she would start drinking, I would say I had plans to do something and we would leave. My Mom knew my oldest son, but she never got to know Kaleb or Christian. She had passed away before William was born so she never even met him.

I really hate myself for taking the only chance the boys would get to know her, away from them (and her). I hate that because I had a few issues with her that I took away their chances of getting to know each other. Because I was selfish my Mom had probably only seen the younger two a handful of times, for only few hours. Really... I mean, was my judgement of her so awful that I couldn't even deal for just a little while longer?

So every single day, I try to forgive myself for being so selfish. I NEED to learn how to just let some things go. Even though people live different life styles then myself, I need to know that it is OK for my boys to get to know them as long as I am stable enough to keep them out of danger. Each day, I get a little bit closer to forgiving myself for keeping them from her. Really, I do. I just wish I would have realized this before she passed away.

Now I ask you, is there anything you need to forgive yourself for?